everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. doesn't mean we go around comitting hate crimes.

ok i saw what had to be the funniest and or tragic thing i have ever seen in my life im sure we have all seen at least one blind person in our lives shuffling down the street with their cane tapping it to and fro so that they dont accidently step of the curb and fall out into oncoming traffic or whatever the specific reason they use it for exactly but it if the main objective was to prevent the visually challenged person from running into to things and other people then it was something that this guy had no knowledge of i first saw him meandering up the street towards me and i moved as far to the side of the sidewalk as possible because he seemed to have no earthly control of his guide stick but just before he would have run tripped me with it he stuck out his arm and began side stepping as if he was looking for something however at the time he was standing in the drivethru of a bank which is apparently where he had intended to go well inside the bank at any rate at some point some thoughtful random lady decided to ask him if he was trying to get to the bank and then kindly guided him to the door

i continued on my way to the bus stop as it where and not really concerned with another persons well being whatsoever but while i was waiting on the driver to actually show up and unlock his bus so that everyone could get on the same blind guy comes back around the corner just a tapping that stick all the way now mind you im not one to make fun of the misfortune of others but i am one to point things out plus there are a lot of what i would like to call mildly retarded people who use the lextran system so while the reerees where busy molesting the busses side mirror trust me there were like 6 of them and they just found it utterly amusing here comes the blind guy and wham runs right in to one of the people groping the bus then he feels feels his way around the person he ran into he starts walking full speed again and slams right into a column i mean i dont know how long this guy had been blind but he was terrible at it after running into two more columns and some homeless guy eventually one of the bus drivers lent him a helping hand

after that the rest of the day just paled in comparison i went to work i came home let the dog go about her business and went to bed watching the phantom of the opera the movie adaptation not the actually play i suppose i could have gone out but you know im lazy so i didnt i am also getting slightly irked by my inability to sleep on nights when i dont have to sit night desk at the dorms i mean sure it starts out ok but then i wake up at like 5 and i cant sleep anymore however when i do actually have to get up and go to the dorms i have the hardest time either getting up or even staying awake that doesnt even make the least bit of sense i mean i could understand if it was one or the other because that could easily be explained by my body becoming accustomed to some sort of schedule but the case being that both are happening really has no bearing in the sensical world

my sisters birthday is fast approaching and i have yet to get her a gift but i will before the week is out i also vow that from this day forth i will never spend money on anything that will guarentee to make me money ever again its a long story and maybe some day i waste the entry to explain it but for now lets just say guarentees are full of shit im done some money and up one lesson learned oh well at least i walked away with something on a final note i am still roommate and or apartmentless and it is really not looking good thus far im really tired of this whole having things not work out the way i planned them or not work out until the last minute causing me loads of uneeded stress and tension can i just have one carefree fuggin day in my life is that too much to ask although i suppose it would result in me have some sort of cardiac arrest and cuase more problems when i have to pay for the medical care that it required

don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me. where ever you go, what ever you do, don't say i never loved you.

yesterday was a day of doing something i shouldnt have namely staying up long after i was supposed to be in bed after being up all night sitting nightdesk at the dorms but i am pretty sure that was just a one time thing i dont really feel like losing sleep just so i can chat on the internet and watch new episodes of the real world even if it is in austin and they did fuck up some guys face in the first week there hehe take that celebrity facimile

once again with intentions of seeing the fantastic four despite its lame reviews but my attempts were again thrawted by my lack of an ability to stay awake later than 6 pm its like im a 65 year old already however i did manage to finish a book and review some japanese for the coming semester i did suprisingly well actually on the quiz they provided for the book i had i think i would be able to be a great tutor in the coming semester im still debating on whether or not to start my third language this year or next but im thinking that next year would be more flexible as far as time constraints are concerned

im also seriuosly considering pledging even though im not really sure how or what exactly that entails in fact i dont think i want to do it at all i still have some reseverations about have some punk telling me what to do like im actually listening so i think i could try out but that i would definitely fail not because i wouldnt be good at being a drunken frat boy or because the idea almost makes me kind of vomit to be honest with you i think that i am just to certifiably defiant

there are some good and bad concerns about the pending semester ive decided to improve my gpa by retaking some classes that i didnt do so well in my previous years lets just say my freshman year was a little more than a letdown for me so i have couple of classes i would like to retake im not a perfectionist i just really cant stand knowing that i did so poorly in throw away classes the positive side to this i may get to see some of my old friends from lcc or whatever they have changed their name to now and perhaps get some of the issues fixed that are terribly wrong with my transcript like why is it that i have over 70 credit hours and im still a freshman can anybody explain that to me another reason is im one class shy of graduating from lcc officially and not just in my head another benefit sorta is that i really really really really want to tranfer schools and get the hell out of dodge or kentucky as the case may be finishing up at lcc would put me at that transition point where i would be an undergraduate transfer student but with my associates both of them and move somewhere else and finish up my major

but first things first baby steps i need to get my arse in a new apartment finish paying off last semesters tuition i'm down to 1500 now mayhaps my mom can help me there and then i can get all the rest of my duckies in a row hopefully all of my tuition assistance goes through this year and i no longer have to deal with problem in the future but if this year has taught me nothing else thus far it has shown unto me that i can put little trust in others